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[odapologist]

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BUCKY - nov. retrospec mingle

[odapologist]

[[ from here! ]]

Can I ask if you knew what you did in your past life?

Or if you'd be able to fight a bear the way you are now?

[frostythehitman]

i was a soldier in ww2

i did fight the bear off but not the same way
i remember wrestling the thing and killing it with my bare hands
but i have no idea how i could manage it the way i am right now that thing was huge
when i fought it last month i had to bait it into running into a bunch of cars until it hurt itself

[odapologist]

Holy shit. That's cool you figured out how to deal with it... brutal as that is. But better you than the fog bear.

Anyway though, if you believe the souls part of what Ms. Wiseman posted, then you got a bit of a ways to go before you're your old ww2 giant bear-punching self.

Huh, that part actually makes better sense now.

[frostythehitman]

screw what joanne said
i don't trust a word out of her mouth
or maurice's or any other retrospec employee's
it could all be a bunch of lies to cover for the fact that retrospec is making this shit up and forcing it on us for kicks

[ which, deep down, he knows isn't the case. But damn it, he doesn't want to accept that any of this is natural or inevitable and that who he is just happens to fundamentally include some whacked out hyper violent soldier. ]

[odapologist]

Woah!

That would be really elaborate of them, wouldn't it?

[ James would be the first to just deny this stuff (outwardly), hence the surprise ]

[frostythehitman]

any more elaborate than anything else that's happened to us in the past eight months?

[odapologist]

I've been aware for two of them. Do you really not like your memories? That I could understand.

[frostythehitman]

my memories all come from a soldier in ww2
they're not exactly pleasant

[odapologist]

Okay, I can't blame you there. Sorry, that would be rough.

I killed the fog thing with a knife that Retrospec gave me, and I'm picking up that I'm really good with knives. I don't know what that says about me, I can't even buy one normally for another few years.

[frostythehitman]

do you remember anything about using knives?

[odapologist]

Not quite, but my body seem to know what it's doing... Someone says that can happen when you get weapons from Retrospec.

It's just the fog and not real, but I stabbed into a 6'6"-tall man's neck frighteningly without much trouble when I got past the height problem. There's the sides of the neck you aim for, right?

[frostythehitman]

i don't know
i remember throwing a knife through a guy's throat
but i don't know how i did it or if that was right i don't remember anything about how to use knives
i don't have that muscle memory
yet

but if you know how to do it then you're probably gonna remember using it on someone

[odapologist]

Yikes. I did it, but it still kind of scares me to think about it.

Remembering it can wait, I don't really want to fight things right now. A month of that and a month-long, or even a half month-long break after that is a compromise I can take with this weird city.

[frostythehitman]

yeah well you don't get a choice
you remember whenever retrospec says you remember
tough luck
get ready to remember stabbing people for real

[odapologist]

It's a given this place was rough on you,
but geez.

You're probably right though, Recolle calls the shots. I'll deal I guess.

[frostythehitman]

if you know how to stab someone on instinct
then whatever you'll be dealing with is gonna be pretty rough
guaranteed

[odapologist]

Probably.

How do you deal with them? You're the one who fought a bear.

[frostythehitman]

what do you mean how do i deal with it
it is what it is and it's in my head now and there's no changing it
end of story

[ or, in other words: badly. ]

[odapologist]

Oh come on.

People go on about coping methods with bad thoughts, particularly adults. I don't expect miracles, but doesn't this count as "bad thoughts"?

[frostythehitman]

what do you want me to say
that i cry myself to sleep thinking about all the soldiers that died around me?

[odapologist]

No, but that's honestly depressing to hear, and I'm sorry.

More like, you'd say you had people to talk to, or something to keep your mind off it. I'm assuming here that you're still a functional human being.

[frostythehitman]

OH MY GOD MAN I WAS BEING SARCASTIC
I DON'T ACTUALLY CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP i can't believe i even have to clarify that
yeah no shit i do things to keep my mind off it
not like i can actually do them any more now that retrospec's taken my arm
but i used to have them

[odapologist]

YOU DON'T. I was referring to the dead people, not the crying! You sound like a very tough kind of person, really.

Also, if that's why you gave me a roundabout answer, then fair enough. I didn't know that you could lose limbs, that's really disturbing.

[frostythehitman]

[ well. At least being called tough buffs his confidence a little. ]

yeah well welcome to my life
what retrospec is doing to me is way more disturbing than the memories i'm getting

[odapologist]

I learned first you were a soldier fought a giant bear in your memories so...

Anything else about Retrospec or something would you want to complain about? I haven't been here long enough, but you can vent, it's fine.